


If I Say You Have a Beautiful Body

by Chash



Series: Holiday Fills 2017 [20]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 20:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13220160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: All of Bellamy and Clarke's friends are and always have been firm in their belief that the two of them are going to make a great couple, and that as soon as one of them makes a move, everything's going to be fine.So it's very distressing when Bellamy's not only terrible at making a move, but Clarke's terrible at picking up on it. That's really grim.





	If I Say You Have a Beautiful Body

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [reblogginhood](http://reblogginhood.tumblr.com/) and [fadingdefendorlight](https://fadingdefendorlight.tumblr.com/)!

**Group: tfw your friends' sexual tension is ruining your lives**

**Jasper** : ok I know I've been warned about this  
BUT  
I think something is actually happening w Clarke and Bellamy  
for real

_Raven named the conversation "Bellarke fanfiction by Jasper Jordan"_

**Monty** : I don't approve of "Bellarke" for the ship name  
I don't like portmanteaus  
I think we can do better  
Maybe something with occupations  
The sky's the limit

 **Jasper** : we are getting off topic  
also it's not fanfiction if it's REAL Raven  
I'm talking about real events I witnessed

 **Nate** : I hate to say this  
like it's physically painful  
but I think Jasper's right

 **Jasper** : VINDICATION  
seriously tho  
Miller should have insight  
I think Bellamy's getting his head out of his ass

 **Nate** : yeah no  
let's not get carried away  
Bellamy's head is still firmly in his ass  
but I saw him googling "how to flirt"  
so it's like facing the right direction in his ass

 **Monty** : Wait, he's googling flirting?  
Doesn't he already know?  
I feel like we've seen him successfully flirt  
Raven?  
Thoughts?

 **Raven** : yeah his face does like 90% of the work for him  
also I made the first move when we slept together  
he was honestly pretty confused about the whole thing  
don't get me wrong, I've seen him flirt  
but it's not like he's good at it

 **Monty** : But his face

 **Raven** : p much  
anyway  
tbh I bet he has no clue how to flirt with CLARKE  
and it's not like the internet's going to help him

 **Nate** : yeah honestly  
what was he doing, Jasper?

 **Jasper** : pickup lines  
and, like  
bad ones

 **Raven** : YOU think they're bad?

 **Jasper** : yup  
we are through the looking glass here people  
Bellamy is flirting with Clarke  
and he sucks at it on a level we never anticipated

 **Raven** : come on  
there's no way him actually flirting with her is going to be worse than him failing to flirt

 **Monty** : If this was a TV show  
This is when they'd play the dramatic music and smash cut to how bad Bellamy's bad flirting is

 **Jasper** : it's bad  
heed my warnings  
I know from bad flirting  
he asked if she came here often  
at the store she owns  
that was his angle

 **Monty** : What did she say?

 **Jasper** : that's the other thing  
Clarke's not good at this either  
remember when Lexa was flirting with her???  
and it was excruciating because Clarke just didn't notice???  
she was just like, yes, Bellamy, I'm here all the time  
stop being a dick  
I know I work a lot  
so let's all be prepared here  
the actual flirting might somehow be worse than the sexual tension

_Nate named the conversation "be careful what you wish for"_

**Jasper** : yeah  
sounds right

*

No one believes Bellamy when he says he's been trying to flirt with Clarke since he met her. Or, more accurately, that he tried to flirt with her the first time he met her, and there was no denial or angst or uncertainty involved. She was working at the same coffee shop his sister was working, she was cute, and he didn't see any harm in trying to get her number.

And he did get it, of course, but instead of that turning into a date, she became his best friend. Which he isn't upset about, obviously; now that he knows her, he has no idea how it would have gone if they'd actually tried a romance back then. They needed time to get used to each other.

Miller calls this making excuses, but Miller is an asshole.

The point is this: Clarke considers lowkey flirtation to be a background part of their relationship. That's how it's always been for them, which means that upgrading from their regular flirting to real flirting is, well,  _complicated_.

"You know what would be easy?" Octavia asks, once he's finished telling her about his first spectacular failure to give Clarke  _serious flirting_ signals. He's not sure why he told her about it, except that they call once a week and he sometimes has trouble keeping her on the phone. Making fun of him is a good tactic. "Asking her out."

"I decided I don't believe in that anymore."

"Wow. That's a new excuse for being single."

He huffs. "Not how you're thinking. Just--I don't think that doing this as some formal dating thing is ever going to work. This is Clarke. We're not like that."

"I still can't believe you actually fell in love with one of my coworkers from my part-time job in college," she says. He can practically see her shaking her head. "I'm not in touch with anyone from that job except as Facebook friends. I wouldn't ever think about her, except for you."

"You can't tell who's going to be important to you," he says.

"I guess not, Hallmark card." She sighs, like the conversation is a great burden. "So, you aren't going to formally date. That means you can't just tell her you're into her? Direct and to the point seems safest to me. Don't make her guess what you're going for."

For a few seconds, he tries to come up with a real excuse, but it's hopeless. "Too scary," he admits. "I'm trying to make it organic."

"So, your plan is to treat your dating life like you treat your hair? Take half an hour every morning to make it look like you put no effort into it even though you're really fucking vain?"

"Pretty much exactly that, yeah."

"And your plan for that is to flirt with her more."

"Until I come up with something better, yeah."

"I'm not holding my breath," says his sister, and he sighs.

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it."

*

 **Clarke** : Oh my god I'm so bored  
This is so boring  
I just want to go to sleep

 **Bellamy** : Yeah? You like sleeping?

 **Clarke** : ???  
It's a biological necessity  
That's like asking if I like breathing

 **Bellamy** : We should try doing it together sometime

 **Clarke** : That was so much setup for such a bad line  
It sounds like you want us to breathe together  
But A for effort  
And thanks for the laugh  
Appreciated  
My mom heard it and looked at me like I was shaming the whole family for laughing at a serious event

 **Bellamy** : Yeah  
Any time

*

"You noticed Bellamy acting weird?"

Clarke has to consider the question carefully, finally settles on, "Weird for a normal person or weird for Bellamy?"

Raven snorts. "So, yes?"

"Not  _that_  weird."

"Uh huh."

"You know you could just tell me what you're worried about, right? I might not have noticed."

"Yeah, that sounds right."

Clarke sighs. She's used to everyone being kind of dicks about her and Bellamy. She even gets it, honestly. The two of them getting together is one of those things that  _feels_  right. Clarke would like to say it's just societal programming, but given she'd be completely and totally down if Bellamy ever indicated romantic interest, it's hard to argue their friends are just seeing what they want to see.

At least on her side. Bellamy is one of those people who has sexual tension with  _everything_ , though, so it's hard for Clarke to feel special. He could probably seduce a dishtowel, if he wanted to.

"Seriously, this conversation would suck a lot less if you just told me what it was about."

Her tone is just sharp enough for Raven to catch the genuine hurt there, and she winces. It's not exactly a victory, but it's probably necessary. She doesn't like guilting people, but no one seems to get how annoying the whole thing is for her. It's not  _fun_ , being hopelessly in love with her best friend. Everyone acting like they're ridiculous for not being together doesn't help.

"Jasper thinks he's hitting on you."

"Jasper  _always_  thinks he's hitting on me."

"I know, but this one sounded more legit. Which is why I was asking you. But you never think he's hitting on you."

"I did, once," she protests. "I tried it, and he wasn't interested. He just likes flirting."

"He doesn't," says Raven, to her surprise. "Seriously, he's  _terrible_  at flirting."

"He still likes it. And he does fine."

"When he wants to. When's the last time he hooked up with anyone?"

"It's been a while. That doesn't mean it has anything to do with me," she adds, and Raven shrugs one shoulder.

"Yeah. It doesn't mean it doesn't, either."

"So, your question is  _do I think Bellamy is hitting on me_."

"No, I know you don't think that. You never think that. But maybe keep an eye open."

"Based on Jasper's testimony? Really?"

She shrugs again. "And, you know, all the other stuff I've ever said about how I think he's into you. Why do you think he's not, again?"

"Because I asked him out and he said no."

"Like--two years ago, right?"

"Something like that. And don't tell me he could have changed his mind, I know he could have. But he knows I'm interested."

"I guess," says Raven, not sounding convinced. "Just--don't give up on it, okay? Maybe it's not what you think."

It's the least necessary advice of all time; if she knew how to give up on Bellamy, she already would have. If she could be done with it, she would.

"Don't worry," she says. "I'm pretty sure the feelings aren't going anywhere.

*

**Group: are those moon pants? because your ass is out of this world**

**Raven** : okay not to be a buzzkill  
but I think Clarke's actually upset about the whole Bellamy thing

 **Nate** : she doesn't want him to hit on her?  
should I try to talk him out of it?

 **Raven** : did he admit he's doing it?

 **Nate** : no  
but I could still try to talk him out of it

 **Raven** : I think maybe just leave her alone  
I tried to ask and she got prickly  
she's convinced she made a move years ago and he shot her down  
which I always forget about because it sounds so fake

 **Nate** : if he did, he doesn't know about it

_Monty named the conversation "#otp: incompetence kink"_

**Raven** : someday they're going to find out about this group and murder us

 **Nate** : not if they're getting laid  
endorphins reduce homicidal urges

 **Monty** : citation needed

 **Nate** : come over and we can test it

 **Monty** : [kissy face emoji]  
very smooth

 **Jasper** : FLIRTING IN PRIVATE MESSAGES ONLY

 **Raven** : yeah, slide into those DMs, Miller

 **Nate** : way ahead of you

*

The thing about being in love with your best friend is that it's simultaneously very easy and very hard to feel comfortable with it. Bellamy already gets almost everything he wants out of his relationship with Clarke, if he's honest. It's just the sex that's missing, and while sex is something, it's not everything.

It's why he doesn't want to risk losing her, but also why he can't just let the whole thing go. It would be so  _good_ , if she felt the same way he does, and it's finally gotten to the point where he needs to know if he could have that, or if he needs to move on already.

But he still doesn't know how to just ask.

Part of it is, like he told his sister, cowardice, but the other problem is how intimate they already are. It's two weeks since he stepped up his flirting game, and Clarke doesn't seem to have noticed, but she's coming over for dinner and a movie, just the two of them. The only difference between their typical Friday night and a date is that they are not, officially, romantic.

It's a difference he'd like to just get rid of, which is why he opens the door shirtless this week.

"Hey, you're early."

Clarke's eyes flick up and down his body, dispassionate. "I'm on time. Did you just get out of the shower?"

"I just don't put on a shirt if I'm not going to see people. My apartment is warm."

She pokes his nipple with her pinkie finger. "Is it?"

"Fine, I'll go put a shirt on. I thought you might enjoy that," he adds. "I'm very desirable."

"Uh huh," she says. "I'm not saying I'm not enjoying it. Just that I'm not really buying your excuse."

"Yeah, I definitely wanted you to be overcome with lust and jump me."

"Tempting, but I want dinner first. Can I do anything to help?"

And that's how it goes. He cooks and she helps, and they end up on the couch side-by-side with plates of food, the best relationship he's ever been in that involves absolutely no overt romance.

"Raven asked me if you were acting weird," she admits, soft, like she's not sure she should be saying it.

"And?"

"And I think you kind of are. Everything okay?"

This is his opening to say the right thing, to tell her that he's in love with her and he's kind of failing to express it well.

But if he could say that, he wouldn't be failing so much. So instead he kicks his legs up on the coffee table with a shrug. "Yeah, everything's fine. How about you?"

She nods, but there's something a little odd in it. "I'm good."

*

 **Bellamy** : Are you thirsty?

 **Me** : Actually yeah  
Myles called in sick so I've been on the register forever

 **Bellamy** : I have water  
And a dick   
I don't know if you meant you're thirsty for dick or water, but I have both

 **Me** : I think you didn't actually care about the answer to that question  
Also your pickup lines need work

 **Bellamy** : If you'd said no I would have been in bad shape  
I can bring you coffee

 **Me** : And your dick, I assume

 **Bellamy** : It comes with me most places, yeah  
See you in ten

*

"I think you might have been right about Bellamy," Clarke admits to Raven. It feels like surrendering, but for once, she actually  _wants_  advice. "I think he might be hitting on me."

Raven frowns. "Okay, so--why aren't you happy about it?"

"I guess I'm not--you know how I feel about him, right?"

"Everyone knows, yeah. You guys are pretty obvious."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me, but--" She sighs. "Look, I thought about it, after what you said, and I realized he's not. In love with me."

"So, you thought it over and decided Bellamy's hitting on you, but he's not in love with you."

"He thinks we should fuck," she says, flat. "And it's not even--I get it. If I wasn't into him, I'd think it was a great idea, but--"

But you're into him, and you think he's not into you. Look, Clarke, I get that this is--big. For you guys. Years of pining finally maybe going official. But seriously, it's mutual. There's no fucking way he doesn't feel the same way."

"I thought about it. I checked our texts. He definitely wants to fuck me."

"Yeah, no one's denying that he wants to fuck you. We're all on the same page with that. But if he thinks he's just interested in sex, it's because he's in denial too."

Clarke has to smile. "I know you think that, but--"

"I will bet you real, actual money. Seriously."

"Then why isn't he just  _saying_  that?" she asks. "Why would he be using--shitty pickup lines?"

"Why aren't you telling him you're in love with him?"

"Because I tried--"

"Remind me what you did last time," says Raven. "Humor me."

Clarke wets her lips. "I asked if he wanted to go out to dinner, and he said no, because he already had a date. And when I asked how it went the next day, he said they weren't going out again. So  _I_  asked again, and he said he was busy. So--not interested. I gave him plenty of chances, but he's just not."

"How many times has Bellamy hit on you in the last, what, two weeks?"

"I haven't been keeping count."

"Ballpark."

"Five to ten."

"And you've shot him down every time, right?"

"I haven't shot him down. I've just--I figured he was joking. I'm pretty sure I didn't notice some of them. I wasn't like, I never want to fuck you or anything."

"He didn't tell you he never wanted to date you either. Yeah, okay, maybe he was letting you down easy, or maybe he didn't figure out that you were trying to ask him out. Honestly, I might not have. So--maybe he's trying to make the same move you were, except he's going bad pickup instead of ambiguous dinner."

"It wasn't ambiguous!" she protests. "If he'd wanted to go out again--"

"How many times have you guys had dinner together? No offense, but I'm just not convinced he would have thought it was that special."

There's an argument to be made for that one, Clarke has to admit. When she'd asked, it felt monumental, like she was really putting herself out there, making the big move, but she'd also been careful to not give away too much. To give Bellamy an out, and herself. To preserve their friendship if it didn't work out.

That, at least, happened. But if Bellamy didn't know, and if he wants the same out now, she could believe that he's going with kind of ridiculous and over the top, for deniability.

And then the rest of the implications of that sink in.

"You think he might really like me," she says.

"Seriously, I already have money on this, if you want me to put more money on it I will. Gina is actually tired of hearing about how you guys are going to date. Not because she used to have a thing for Bellamy," Raven adds, before Clarke can ask. "Because it's just boring now. Unless I have better updates, she's not interested. It's just boring and sad if nothing ever happens."

"I should probably talk to him, huh?"

"Understatement."

"Would Gina be cool with it if you stayed at her place tonight?"

"Planning on getting laid?" she teases.

"He's made it pretty clear that's an option, yeah."

Raven smirks. "Then yeah, I think I can find somewhere else to be."

*

**Group: are we creepy? no, it's the children who are wrong**

**Raven** : RED ALERT RED ALERT  
I swear to god Clarke is texting Bellamy to ask him to come over so they can actually talk about their shit RIGHT NOW  
This is happening this is not a drill  
I'm on the train to Gina's now because Clarke is planning to have sex

 **Nate** : what

 **Raven** : Scout's honor, Miller

 **Nate** : you're not a scout

 **Raven** : And I'm pretty dishonorable  
But fucking seriously  
I think she's really going to do it

 **Jasper** : !!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Jasper named the conversation "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

**Jasper** : WHERE IS MONTY  
WHY IS HE NOT HERE  
this is an historic event  
a historic event?  
I don't care  
this is going to be like when JFK got shot  
in the sense that we'll remember where we were when it happened  
not in any other ways  
seriously where is he

 **Nate** : dentist  
don't worry, he'll freak out soon  
btw Bellamy just texted me that he's "hanging out with Clarke" tonight  
guessing he has no clue

 **Raven** : I feel like Jasper shouldn't have changed the chat name  
We're so fucking creepy

 **Nate** : did you do this when me and Monty were getting together?

 **Raven** : We didn't need to  
You guys took like three weeks  
Not 84 years

 **Nate** : man  
here's hoping after tonight, we never have to use this group chat again

 **Jasper** : it's been an honor serving with you guys  
let's all go do other stuff and try not to wonder if our friends are having sex

_Raven named the conversation "we're fucking creepy, but at least bellamy and clarke are on a date"_

**Nate** : tbh

*

Depending on what happens tonight, Bellamy thinks it's probably about time to switch his seduction tactics, because whatever he's doing now isn't working.

His sister might be right; he might have to actually tell Clarke what he wants, directly and unambiguously. It's still possible she won't want the same thing, but--he kind of needs to know. He needs to be sure.

Or, she could be inviting him over to seduce him. It's not likely, but he lives in hope. Even Miller admitted he was being really, really fucking obvious. It feels like she's got to notice eventually.

It's not a serious thought, not really, but when he knocks on the door, she calls, "It's open!" which is definitely a deviation from the norm.

"Are you actually cooking?" he asks, suspicious. "Is this a special occasion I didn't know about? Is it our anniversary?"

"I hope it's going to be," she says, coming out of her bedroom in, well--

Not a lot of clothing. Like, at all.

"Um," he says, trying not to stare, even though he's pretty sure the whole point of coming out of a bedroom in lingerie is to get stared at. "Hi," he manages. "You look--wow."

"Thanks." She bites her lip, nerves coming through. "I was getting the impression you were into me. You've been dropping some hints."

"Yeah, I--" His self control breaks and he crosses the living room in a few long strides, cups her face in his hands and kisses her. Her fingers come up to fist in the material of his t-shirt, holding him close, and it's relief and happiness all at once, more emotion than he knows what to do with.

"Yeah," she says. "Me too."

He lets his arms slide around her, grinning. "Was it the dick thirst pickup line that did it? Did that actually work?"

She laughs, tucks her face against his neck. “No, definitely not. I decided you wanted to be friends with benefits and Raven had to talk me down from that one. But I thought you just wanted to fuck me.”

He barks a laugh. “Fuck, I didn’t even—I guess that is kind of how I was thinking about it, but just—“ He kisses her hair. “Our relationship is basically perfect, I just want to be able to kiss you whenever I want. But it’s not like—“

“I love you too,” she says, and he’s never heard anything better.

But then she adds, “So, bedroom?”

And that comes close.

*

 **Nate** : Are you ever coming home or do you live in Clarke’s bed now?

 **Bellamy** : Good question  
I’ll let you know when I figure it out

 **Nate** : I like having the whole apartment to myself  
Definitely stay there forever  
And congrats on finally making that whole thing work

 **Bellamy** : Thanks  
I’ll never see you again

*

“Do you remember when I asked you out?” Clarke asks, sounding curious.

It's an odd question; he's as curious what the answer is supposed to be as she is. “Last night?”

“That was asking you in, not asking you out.”

He frowns. “There was another time? When? What—“

She laughs, resting her face against his back as he makes breakfast. She and Raven didn’t have a lot to work with, so he might have to go shopping soon. If he’s going to be around more. Their fridge needs help.

“I asked you out like two years ago and you turned me down because you had another date.”

“Jesus, really? I definitely missed that. I don’t even remember.”

“Yeah, that’s what Raven figured. She thought you must have just not known.”

“I was trying to pick you up the first time we met,” he says. “So I’m not the only one who missed shit.”

“Oh, no, I knew that.” He turns to frown at her, and she grins. “Lots of guys hit on me at the coffee shop, I just ignored it. But then you were Octavia’s brother, so I figured we could at least hang out. That’s  _why_  I tried to ask you on the date. I knew you used to like me. It seemed like you might—“

He catches her mouth for another kiss. “I never stopped liking you,” he tells her. “If I’d known, I would have canceled the other date in half a second. Sorry I didn’t—“

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, smiling. “We got here, right?”

“Finally,” he teases. But he can’t stop smiling. “Took us long enough.”

*

_Monty named the conversation "tfw your otp becomes canon"_

_Raven deleted the group_


End file.
